|Posted on October 3, 2009 at 9:45 AM|
...Although not much different from the original.
I'm talking about RE5.
This will contain SPOILERS!
I got, played, and beat it in about 2 days; only a couple hours. Granted, I picked amateur mode because I have it for PC, and the control scheme was based on Xbox, so I had no idea what the buttons were. (The controller I use is only marked by numbers, and I'm used to the Playstation controls). Also lacking the joysticks to look around, mine has a D-pad only so.... fuck XD I'm a little more used to it now though, so I'll try harder modes later on. Now that that's clarified... The Review itself.
Let me just say before, there are spoilers in here, as well as very strong opinions. So read at your own risk. I did watch a playthrough prior to playing this game myself, but it was a while ago, and I zoned out through most of the playthrough cause it was taking forever and I got bored; even fell asleep literally at some parts. I only remembered a couple small parts from the game, but it was mostly just the cutscenes I watched.
Let's start as a basic game, nothing about RE itself or the story, just plain old:
As a Game:
Obviously great. It's a next-gen system, how could they not be? Though I guess maybe that's why it took them 3 unnecessarily long years to make this, guess all they cared about was the graphics I suppose *shrug* But yeah, we all knew this anyway; graphics are fine.
I consider this different from graphics; What I'm talking about is how the characters actually move, protagonists and enemies alike. On a number scale, they get a 3 for laziness. Is it really THAT hard nowadays to make new sprites for next-gen systems? The original RE games, not 1, 2, 3 and obviously Code Veronica had any re-used animations of zombies, monsters, and I don't believe so for the playable characters either. The only old-school one that re-used sprites was RE Survivor, that one used the same enemies from RE2, just into a 1st Person perspective. But no one gives a shit about Survivor anyway. That was one of the things that made it cheap, they should of used better details then RE2, cause everything looked pixel'd as FUCK. But back to the game in spotlight here; Maybe someone actually has an answer for me. Were they really that rushed on time that they had to use no only the same 'Ganado' animation, but 'El Gigante', the playable characters, etc. I know there was some new animation/sprites put into the game, but was it really so hard to make a new game completely? You think in 3 years they could of done better. Guess not.
On a personal observation note:
I dunno if this is on the Xbox and PS3 system or not, but Sheva has an alternate outfit that's a Business Suit. And, if you haven't noticed, it's basically Hunnigans outfit from RE4/Degen. At first I thought it was a lame homage to RE4, but thinking back... Hunnigan never seemed to be 100% Caucasian to me, she had a bit of a tan about her and fullness to her lips that most of us whities don't have without a botox. No, it couldn't be... right? Were they lazy enough to take Hunnigans sprite, tweak it slightly and create Sheva? That would explain the last-minute addition of Ms. Alomar as well... Oh shit, racist claims, better make a black character FAST. Ashley is too obvious a sprite to use... Ada as well... mmm... AH! QUICK! GET THE HUNNIGAN LAYOUT! Maybe I'm just looking in too deep, but you decide for yourselves:
I guess sound was fine, some of the music for boss battles was decent... I dunno I wasn't paying attention. XD
Awful. But most games are like this nowadays. Someone tell me please... When did gamers get SO stupid that they need every little itty bitty thing spelled out for them? RE4/5 aren't the only ones guilty of this either, it's just sad that they've fallen into the same stupidity. I'm talking about 2 very big gameplay-hindering 'features'. The first one is the tutorial that follows you the entire game. And I don't even mean the actual tutorial mode. I mean: PRESS X TO OPEN DOOR, PRESS X TO JUMP, PRESS X TO DO THIS, PRESS X TO FUCK YOURSELF! Like.... ok... that's fine for the first maybe 10 minutes of the game when everything is new and you need a little help. But no. That shit haunts you throughout the entire game, as if we're fucking morons or something. At the end of the game... HAY LEGGY! DON'T FORGET! PRESS X TO JUMP!!! and I'm like............... -_- Oh, really? I had no idea. Thanks, pointless game feature! : D! Sigh. Might as well have up there, when you're aiming, PRESS X TO SHOOT YOU FUCKIN' IDIOT! Imagine if the old RE games had that? I mean fuck. I wonder if they realize how un-scary that makes the game. Imagine RE2, walking down a dark hallway, no sound, very dark, you find a door... and a bright blue X pops up like you're an infant playing the game. Kinda kills the mood, don't you think?
Next inconvenient shitfuck is the saving. When and how did gamers give off the air that they needed to be told where and when to save without any free will whatsoever? Are kids really that dumb nowadays? Did people complain: OHHHH I keep savin the wrong files and fucking myself, someone please, give me a metaphorical baby bib so I don't drool all over myself and fuck myself over! It's extremely annoying to not be able to save of my own will. Maybe that's personal preference, but I'm not exactly an infant gamer. I think I can handle saving on my own. And again, it's not only RE that's doing this. A lot of games lately seem to take on an infantile appeal, even the goriest and mature games out there. Nintendo Wii games... maybe I could understand since that's always kind of been family-oriented and not-so dark games. Especially with even parents gaming nowadays, that makes sense. But for PS3 and Xbox games that are about killing and sex? Okaaay...
Like I already predicted, it's fun, of course. You run around mindlessly killing things with little to no plot involved. You're basic brain-dead game of instant gratification. Sadly, it's an RE game we're talking about, that's the only flaw. But I promised I wouldn't bring in the aspect that it's RE so let's continue on, unbiasedly.
It's fun. But what's the deal with over-the-shoulder? Is it too much trouble to have a center-placed character so you can actually see what's going on to your left? Is it supposed to be realistic? If so, I think if I was running around, I wouldn't keep my left eye shut the whole time. My guess is, it's the only aspect that could make the game at least a little challenging. But, challenging isn't even a good word. More like annoying. It's cheap to get nailed by a monkey wrench just for poor angling. See, in the old RE games, people bitch about bad camera angles hiding enemies. Difference was, the old RE games are actually SCARY. It's set up that way so it BUILDS TENSION AND FEAR. RE5 you already know there's shit running all around, there's no worry or tension at all, so it's just annoying having to spin in a circle just to see what you already know is there. Nice try, guys, but not scary at all.
I think the only part that scared me even a little was the part with all the crocodiles in the water, and that was only cause I already knew it was a one-hit death. That built up some tension since, gasp, you couldn't actually see where all the crocodiles were! I just thought it was sad though, that the one scary part/enemy in the game was just a real-life animal and not some Plaga/Uroburos monster. What a shame. XD
As a Resident Evil Game:
Let's move on to what the people have really been waiting for; how this game is as a part of the Resident Evil series. I think I can cover most of my main woes through breaking down each character and kind of branching off from there, and maybe a few other topics as well..... Enjoy.
Honestly, I never saw Chris as having much personality to begin with other then the cliche hero against evil. But I kinda liked that about him. I derived my own jokes from his personality such as being dumb, or a meathead, since he starts RE1 with just a knife. He strives to keep people protected and destroy those who threaten to harm that. I guess they kept his personality decently enough... he certainly is still a meathead and has the steroid arms to prove it. He goes out of his way to protect Sheva which fits in with the old Chris, kinda like how he protected Rebecca and such. Just that whole pointless speech about "Is it all worth fighting for" was well, pointless XD Trying to make Chris seem all emo and such... no no no Capcom, save that for Leon since you fucked him up enough already XD But aside from that, his scenes with Jill were so brief, you'd think he'd be a bit more emotional about it, but I guess that's Capcoms fault for wanting to rush the game along.
I guess everyone's cimplaint is Chris' physical appearance. It's disgusting XD My only guess is after fighting Wesker in Antarctica, he got deprezzed that Wesker was so strong and started training ever since. Other then that, I hated the stupid RE5 trailers that involved the live-action actors. They made no sense, and they made Chris look like a fuckin' loony bin dweller. I highly doubt they're considered cannon to the story, but if they are... fuck my life, RE has gone to hell.
Anyone care for another cup of pointless? I believe some of you may already know my opinion on her, and after playing RE5, it hasn't changed. If you read above, I have yet another bit of proof why she most likely was added in at the last minute due to people's complaints about racism. And hell, she isn't even fully black me doesn't think. They should of made her into mocha love, like Josh was. But I guess they were too scared to try it or something. But anyway, what else can I even say? She's just kinda tossed in there, pointlessly. Considering the circumstances in RE5, it does make sense that Chris would have teammates on his side, but a girl who's my age doesn't come to mind first. I guess they wanted to keep in the spirit of boy/girl main characters; But Sheva's age, race and figure only says "We aren't racist, and look, sex appeal!!" her importance to the story and past with Umbrella are nothing amazing nor needed.
As for Sheva's A.I. in the game; I guess it's ok. For me it was weird, she'd UNLOOOAD her handgun on people in about 12 seconds, but with the machine gun it was like.... BAM...... BAM....... BAM.... one bullet at a time. I was like, Okay then. At least that's how it is on Amateur mode, she seemed to be able to take care of herself, but we'll see. The worst part was her dialogue though... I swear to god, you say 'Potnah' one more time and this machete is going up your ass. It was worse then Leon saying 'Ada wait!' And I mean even in cutscenes outside of actual gameplay, SHE. NEVER. STOPPED. I wanted to kill her. XD
I dunno, he was just a generic side character.
Before I played I thought he might be a love-to-hate bad guy... But he's just a Salazar clone, seriously. Even his transformation was exactly the same, except rather then being in a tentacle monster, he was inside a fish. Like... I hope I wasn't the only one who noticed. It was almost exactly the saaaaame, how fucking lazy can you be?! I swear, that whole game was basically a prettied-up homage to RE4, like a fan game of their own game, like.... wow. Ok sorry, got off topic. About Irving... Well... he's there, what can I say. I swear they picked his voice actor on purpose just to make people think it would be Steve, just to stomp all over their hearts and theories. But I guess he was a little entertaining... I dunno, his appearances were brief so there isn't much to say. Nothing all that memorable about him except his voice I guess.
Well, she's a slut with a beehive. Haircut, I mean. Another wasted, pointless existence from Tricell: The company no one gives a flying fuck about. Was Tricell mentioned in Degeneration or something, or was it just another out-of-the-ass idea? Well, whatever. She wasn't even in the game as much as I thought she was gonna be. Basically pointless eyecandy, one of Capcoms trump cards for saying 'Oh yeah, this Tricell shit is LEGIT motha'fukkas.' Sure, ok then. I dunno, just like Irving, there's nothing amazing or deep about Excella, she's just kinda there, and not memorable at all. The only reason people will pay mind to these random characters is cause it takes Capcom so long to make a new game, we have nothing else to cling on to.
Albert fucking Wesker-
I never did like Wesker. Well, that's a lie, I guess I like him as a bad guy, sort of a love-to-hate deal. Many say he's what makes the RE series... RE. Kinda BS though, no one knew he was alive until Code Veronica; 3 games (including Survivor) after he apparently 'died' in the first one. Only until after that did Capcom start to milk him for all his worth and say he was 'behind the scenes' the entire time. Which, I can handle that. They had a good explanation for it and everything. But now, oh boy, talk about the fuck-up of the century. It was one thing to say he was alive and working for Umbrella. But now saying that he was basically born into Umbrella... ugh, it's like the ultimate cliche thing they could of done. Taking an out-of-the-mold antagonist and basically turning him into Frankenstien's monster, that's all they did.
I was though, happy to know that he wasn't a test-tube clone baby, that would of just put me over the edge. But still, the lingering fact that he was purposefully born into Umbrella, given viruses and vaccines as an infant and all that cliche bullshit really just kills everything that his character ever was. Call me crazy, but I think it would be cool just to have a self-centered, sociopathic, power-hungry guy as the main antagonist. What was so wrong with just having him as a brilliant, manipulative man who worked his way up in life and wanted to take it all? It's almost like now they're saying he's 'evil' and acts like he does because it was implanted into him at birth, and that's bullshit. Now all the idiot fangirls are gonna go apeshit with the fanfictions on why Wesker is actually a sweet and tortured person deep down, no, it was only the viruses that made him bad!! I swear!! ...ugh, it makes me sick. Can't we just have one decent villain? Nope, they gotta take that away too! The Wesker you know is now dead, and I don't mean because he was killed in RE5. I mean Capcom took a perfectly cool and decent asshole badguy and fucked him up royally. So have fun with that thought!
Also, he looks like a retarded Matrix reject.
The blonde hair is just nit-picking, but I still hate it. Going deeper though, honestly.... WHY would they do that so randomly? Growing her hair out would make some sense, that's kind of a good way of expressing how time passes. But blonde? Something is weird. I honestly do not believe that it was originally supposed to be Jill in that tube. Now let's think. Who's a blonde girl who would be an adult in these present times, possibly working with Wesker, and has been missing for years? NOT Jill that's for fucking sure! How about, duuuu, Sherry fucking Birkin? I've seen debates about this before, and I'm going to honestly take the side that it was originally supposed to be Sherry, but for whatever retarded reason, they changed that, as well as many other things at the last minute. Why? Who the fuck knows.
But anyway, more about Jill now... What is there to say? We've gone from zombies in mansions to ancient parasites and mind-control in Africa. Makes sense to me..... Anyway, I guess Jill is Jill. her face looked the same from REmake, but she hardly got any conscious screen-time. Like I said about Chris, she's been supposedly dead for a long ass time, and not only that but she'd gone through hell most likely after spending all that time as Wesker puppet. You'd think she and Chris would be a little more emotional then "lol, forgive me for actin' liek i did." "lol n/p." But again, I suppose that's Capcom's fault. Jill should of been the one to team up with Chris and kill Wesker, there's really no excuse for that either. It just sucks. At least she's alive though; if they killed her off without another thought, and especially not allowing us to play through it and go through the emotions first hand, that would of been utter shit.
Ozwell E. Spencer-
Dear. Fucking. Christ. How can one company ruin a game series SO badly?! Ok, ok, ok. I'm not saying I hate Spencer. Well, in the game sense, yes. I mean he's the head hancho of fucking Umbrella! UMBRELLA! OUR WORST ENEMIES OF THE RE SERIES! That is until RE4 raped that shit out of life anyway. But Spencer was still around! We gotta find him! The ultimate battle of STARS vs Umbrella right? Right?! NOPE! We got FUCKED out of that too! maybe some people think Albert fucking Wesker is the biggest bad guy in RE, but unless he ever actually took over Umbrella, no sorry, he isn't. And I don't consider Umbrella Chronicles as 'taking over Umbrella' all he did was steal some shit right before they got shut down. Key word: Shut down; don't exist anymore. But Spencer, no, he's the main bad guy. He was the mysterious head behind everything, responsible for everything since the beginning. Wesker was just a power-hungry asshole trying to force his own self to the top.
So most of you prolly know this already, Umbrella = gone, then in RE5... no, not even during RE5, but apparently a few years before thsoe events took place, Spencer is already dead by the hands of Wesker. What kind of shit is this. First they take away Umbrella, and now the one we've been hoping to confront in an RE game since the beginning. let's put this into perspective by taking the most classic of all games.... Super Mario.
Imagine playing through that hell of a game. So many levels, so many enemies, confusing as fuck castles. All that hard work, all to defeat Bowser and save the Princess. So imagine going through all of it, with those two desires burned into your head. You finally reach the end of the game... and what do you find? Someone has already defeated Bowser, and the Princess is already saved. Imagine how THAT would feel; So if you get that, now you understand how I at least feel. I dunno about the rest of you. To make it blunt, I feel fucking ripped off. Two huge things I dreamed about from the RE series just ripped right out of my chest. Thanks a lot, Capcom.
I just have to bring up Plagas from RE4 cause that's where all this bullshit started. I don't care what anyone tries to force feed me; the Plagas are pointless bullshit. They have literally nothing to do with Resident Evil, Umbrella, or anything. They were just made up as an excuse to make something other then zombies as yet another excuse to make different enemy A.I., and just turn it into a brainless action game. That's all. Cause everyone knows destroying a zombies head/brain is the end of it, so since Capcom wanted to make a basically FPS action game with specific aiming, it'd be all too easy. So hey, instead of sticking with the classic style that most people liked, let's not only change the entire gameplay to generic brainless shit, but let's also fuck up the series entirely by getting rid of zombies and making a whole new thing that no one gives a shit about! And of course, with the idiot gamers we have today, they ate it up right quick.
Couldn't they have come up with something.... better? I know I'm a nerd, but Resident Evil is science fiction/horror basically, right? Or, it was anyway. Stuff about secret laboratories creating illegal BOW's and viruses, creating zombies, it all kind of flowed together nicely. But now all of a sudden.... Oh, well, in Spain we have this guy with a magical stick who can control a prehistoric parasite that we JUST discovered right now..... Am I the only one who thinks that sounds a tad retarded and out of place? God I sure hope not. RE5 only continues this nonsense. And I guess now it's only gonna keep going and going and going until we have... RE9: The Lost Chapters of Mecha-Leon in Space. The tagline can be... "Umbrella... Plagas... Uroburos... You thought they were abominations made by man, but try telling that to the aliens above that manipulated them all from above!" Seriously. I don't think that would surprise me at all.
Don't get me wrong here. I know the RE's of the past have had their copy-cats. For example, the Eagle and Wolf medals appearing in RE1 and RE2, as well as putting 4 items into a wall to open a door. But see, those were puzzles. And honestly I can only think of those and maybe a couple other little details that make the older RE's a bit similar. When it comes to things like the animation/sprites, story, characters, enemies, locations; They all vary very much and give each game its own unique and memorable charm. I know I said it once before, but RE5 seriously seemed like nothing more then a remastered homage to RE4. SO much stuff was the same, I'll try to name some off the top of my head.
*Sheva = Hunnigan, I know I went over that already.
*The opening in general, the Assembly area was exactly like RE4's opening in every way.
*Irving = Salazar, again, mentioned but just so... ugh.
*Fanboat = Motorboat; no lake monster at least but still awfully similar.
*Osama Bin Gigante.... need I say more?
*The entire game span itself was even a mimic of RE4, the beginning is a somewhat primitive village, then you move on to a weird organized area (cult castle, oilyard), then going back to a more primitive area as well as underground, a hidden lab-like place, then finally and industrial-like place full of armed soldiers. I know the earlier RE's kind of had a theme of first being in the normal area then finding the lab... but at least the areas before hand weren't all identical.
*Well, I guess all the enemies in general were the same as RE4, just with new skins. Do I really have to name them all? Even an idiot can tell which ones reflect what.
*The lab elevator scene = RE4 castle elevator (with the boxes)
*Burning mirror puzzles... why is that SO familiar?
There's more, but it's aggravating just thinking about all of em right now. Feel like my head's gonna explode. So anyway...
I guess that about covers all of it. Well, for the most part anyway. In conclusion, I say RE should of died with Code Veronica. Well, not die, but just.... they really fucked up after that. Really, really, REALLY fucked up. I said it once and I'll say it 100 more times if I have to. I know some people think it's great that RE took a change. I could honestly deal with it if they didn't fuck with the story so terribly. But really now... Id Capcom wanted to make something so 'cool' and so new... Why didn't they just make a new game series entirely? Why did they have to completely fuck up a classic series that so many loved for the way it was? My only guess is they new RE = fans and fans = money, so they chose to mess with something they knew people would buy, and that's just cold. Especially to the hardcore, oldschool fans. Speaking of which...
Lemme just talk to the oldschool fans 1 on 1 for a minute. I meant he people who, in the least, played one of the original RE's first, then the others in order; the Playstation 1 games in the least. Okay, got you guys attention? Ok. Now tell me, back being young, playing RE1 or RE2... playing back then, did you honestly think that one day, you'd be playing the same series, except now placed in Africa, with no T or G virus, but instead these weird parasite things, and not to mention no zombies at all? Cause I sure didn't. I was sad enough when Raccoon was destroyed, but from there, I dreamed of a day when Chris, Jill, Leon, Claire, Rebecca, Barry and the rest, would all join up and go in to take Umbrella down themselves, to get rid of or arrest Ozwell E. Spencer, even Wesker; All together for the final fight against Umbrella and their other adversaries. Doesn't that sound... perfect? Forgive me if I'm tooting my own horn, but that to me sounds like a pretty decent and realist ending to put a smile to all RE fans. I mean hell, the series has to end somewhere, doesn't it? We all have favorite movies and TV shows. What makes them so good? A huge climactic ending that either leaves us happy or in the least, satisfied that it came to some kind of conclusion. To me it just seems like Capcom is going to try and drag us on and on for more and more money, totally losing sight in what was once a great series, now completely monopolized. It's terrible, and it's saddening. I really don't wanna become one of those pathetic fangirls who has to make up her own fanfictions and pretend everything is ok, but they're starting to leave me no choice, honestly XD
So yeah... there's my full honest opinion, and now no one can bitch about: BUT YOU DIDN'T PLAY IT, FILTHY WHORE!! Well, now I have. You can take my opinion as you will. Discussion is fine, disagreements are fine. I hope you'll notice how I didn't say anything along the lines of anyone not being a "true fan" or any of that crap. So if anyone gets all bent out of shape over this and tries to insult me about it, I'll just block you, cause this an an opinion and discussion, so fuck off. : D
But yeah, that's it, have fun reading and leaving comments or whatever, I'M OUT!
Categories: Resident Evil